Monster
by KiannaLeighMV500
Summary: Set after Dreaming-Of-A-Nightmare's "The Horror Of My Love For You". Rated M for insanity and blood as a turn on. CHAPTER 2 IS NOW UP.
1. Monster

There is a girl sitting beside me now. We're far away from our villages, or what's left of them. Everyone knows what you did, but no one believes that two twelve-year-olds slaughtered two ninja villages. The girl beside me has taken a liking to me. She smiles at me, and wants to talk. She brings me sweets and touches my hand. I tell her to run; I tell her to hate me, but she won't. She doesn't see it, even thought I try to warn her.

Every time she's near, I feel you watching, but you don't say anything to her because she gave me the last of her ramen once, and I was happy. You'd never kill anything that made me happy; I know that now. I've always known you loved me in your own twisted way.

The moon is out. I'm standing over the girl. She's crying. I wonder if that was how I looked when you killed my village. She screams at me to get away. She calls me a monster. I tell her that I warned her. I cry because I hate that I was right then and that she is right now. I'm a monster and I hate it, so I kill her. I crush her throat. I bite her neck. I tear the skin and drink her in. It's wonderful. I hate it. You did this to me. You took away everything keeping the monster dormant inside me, and now I can't control it.

I hate you.

You're behind me now. You want to smile. I know that. But you don't. You hold out your hand.

"They're coming, Naruto. We have to leave now or they'll surprise us."

I get up but I don't take your hand. I'm shaking because I want more. I hate it so much that I could die.

As we walk, I stop because I can't go on. The monster wants more. I hear a little sound, a breath, a sigh, and I attack. It's her brother. A boy a bit older than she was. I strangle him, watching him die and laughing as I break his neck and tear his chest open. I know you want to go. I hear the nin coming to kill us getting closer. I don't stop. You protect me from them as I rip the boy apart. When I'm done you hold your hand out for me again, this time with a smile. You don't care that they managed to hurt you. I take your outstretched, blood-covered hand.

I love you.

We're in another town now. Anyone from the last town who saw us is dead. I'm sitting outside. You don't like the sun so I sit in it to keep you away from me, even though I also don't like the sun anymore.

I hate you for this. I used to love the sun, but now I hate it. I let myself burn because it's hiding in all the shadows, the monster that you woke up. I'm watching a group of kids our age playing. I want them to come over to me. I want to have them help me. At times like this, I wonder how no one can see it. I wonder if all the blood and horror is just in my head. Maybe you didn't kill all those people. Maybe I didn't either. Maybe it's just a dream, an extremely twisted nightmare.

And like a miracle, they do come over. They smile at me and coax me out of the shadows, although I'm already in the sun. They want to play ball. I want to go with them. We play all day and I try to make them stay with me as the sun falls. They have to go home. I don't want them to. If they leave me alone in the dark, the monster inside me will get to me. I plead; they laugh. They will play tomorrow, they say. I nod and wait.

Tonight I will not let you touch me. You'll bring the monster out. Oh, I know you hurt, but I can't go to you. There in the dark, where you are, the monster will get me. I don't want that, so I leave you sitting in the dark while I hover on the edge of the light.

I can hear the monster all night. Howling, it tells me things. It won't leave, it won't sleep. Soon, soon it says, it will take me. I press myself to the edge of the light but can't break through into it. In the dark, it watches me. Soon, it says, it'll have all of me; my soul, my heart; along with my body. Is that what your monster has done to you already, Gaara?

The moon comes up and the monster howls. I'm afraid. I go to the house of one of those boys. I'm almost crying. I'm scream for him to help me, but I'm not saying anything. He doesn't understand. He asks what is wrong. I feel the monster wrapping its claws around me. He doesn't see a thing. He can't hear me scream. I think for a moment that he can't see and maybe that's because it isn't real. Maybe I was right. Am I dreaming after all? Is it just a nightmare?

Then then the monster lashes out, cuts him. The boy screams and cries. I move in to help. He flinches away. He points at me. He blames me. I step away and shake me head, but he screams and screams and there are people coming. I know it's not dream, now. It's inside me; that's why all of this is happening.

Standing there, I know why no one can see this. It's inside me, just like it's inside of you. You and me, we know it's there, but they don't see it until we're squeezing their throats. That's why, no matter how hard I wish, no one will ever come save us.

You're behind me and I look at you in the crowd. When I look at you, I see how much you love me. I see the monster in you, too, and I know you see mine. But you love me anyway. I hate myself. I hate you. We're monsters. Under the frail sheets of skin, we are nothing but monsters.

Maybe if we'd never met, my father's love would have saved me. But that's gone now. I'm the monster he tried and failed to tame. He failed. I know that now. And when you look at me, you see I know it.

You close the gap between us and hold my hand. We stand in the crowd and everyone is yelling, trying to figure out what happened. But all we hear is each other's heartbeats.

"I love you, Naruto," you tell me, and I know it's true. You're a monster just like me, and for the first time in my life, I wonder – I really wonder – what kind of life there ever would have been for me if not for being hated for being a monster; if not for being loved for being a hero; and if not for living in constant fear of letting anyone get close enough to see that underneath, I'm still a monster. To see that I'm living a lie.

I'm a monster. And for the first time I realize that's all I'll ever be. Nothing will change that; _nothing._

They would have never loved me as I am.

I look around me. The hate and fear is seeping into their faces. They liked me until this and now they are turning on me. You'll never do that. You'll never do anything but love me for what I am. My father wanted me to be loved. Who is to say this isn't what he wanted? Who is to say he thought I was strong enough to be monster, and loved and be loved?

I look at you and smile. I understand.

That night, a whole town dies.

We bathe in the screams, drink in the blood. I love you Gaara. I love you. I finally understand that my salvation, my freedom, would never have come with trying to free myself from the monster I was. Instead, it came with feeling like the monster I knew I was all along.

I finally understand that you did what I always wanted someone to do: love me, and save me from the fear in my own heart.

I'm not afraid now; I'm with you. We're sitting on a hill, watching the town burn. I take your hand. "It's beautiful isn't it? Gaara, isn't it pretty? It looks like bright flowers in the wind." You look at me, but don't speak. I know why. You're overwhelmed because it's even sweeter than you imagined. "Yes," I say without you having to say a word. "I love you, Gaara."


	2. The Kings that Came After

So I decided to make a second chapter. I liked how Shukaku showed up in that second chapter of "The Horror..." and I've always wanted to write Kyuubi so I had to make another chapter. Also, I wanted to have a chance to give him a name. Why is Shukaku the only Tailed-Beats with a first name? It not fair! The fox deserves one too! So without farther ranting:

Warnings: Plans of mass murder and world domination by way of wide spread destruction; homoerotic tension; hints of sex between people in the bodies of young teens; hints of sex between young teens; warped and rather dark outlooks on life.

* * *

The Kings That Came After

My eyes open very slowly. I'm coming to the surface from under layers and layers of sleep. It feels like it takes forever for me to break the surface, and I when I do, I take my first sweet breath of the air of the night.

I turn to take in my surroundings. I notice first that Gaara is lying beside me. The redhead is asleep. His eyes, for once, are closed in what must be blissful unconsciousness. I untangle myself from his embrace and slide to the edge of the bed. The full moon is rather low on the horizon and pouring milky white light into the room. My figure is illuminated by this ghostly light and stands out in the reflected image of the room in the dresser mirror.

People have gotten it all wrong; I realize that when I look at myself. It seems to be common knowledge that blonde hair is the compliment of blue eyes. They're wrong. However, people are wrong about so many things, so why am I surprised?

I look at my reflection and I grin. Blonde hair looks so much lovelier with blood-red eyes.

I open my mouth nice and wide. My fangs are coming in nicely. They hurt sometimes, but it is a pleasant reminder that I am free. I have the redhead to thank for that.

Eyeing the messy spikes of blonde atop my head, I reach up and entangle my fingers in the yellow strands. I dig my newly formed claws into the scalp, but the pain is just another pleasant reminder of how alive I am, how free. Pushing the pads of my fingers into my scalp, I drag my fingers out of my hair and down my face. It's a fair face, a lovely face even, with just enough innocence to be deceptive. I grin widely and notice again, with what can only be described as glee, just how well my fangs are coming in.

As I run the pads of my fingers over my throat I come across the many bruises and small cuts that litter my neck. The sight of them sends an exciting jolt throughout my body. As I continue my way down my body, I drag my fingers over the taunt skin of my chest and the earlier thrill comes back fresh. I press harder and drag my fingers over the ever-hardening muscles of my torso before coming to my exposed hip. I press my fingers into the taunt sore muscles and actually have to suppress a groan. Then I press both palms into my knees and run my hands over myself, taking in every twitch of every muscle until I come to my chest. The urge to purr is nearly overwhelming.

"Preening again, Kyuubi?"

I pan my scarlet eyes to the voice over my shoulder. The redhead is awake. Pulling himself up by the sheets, he looks at me with a mocking smile as if he had caught me doing something shameful.

"Don't YOU admire your new form, Shukaku?" I ask coolly. He nods as he turns away from me.

"Oh yes. Very much. But I'm not so vain as to go running my hands all over myself."

I snort at that. "You say that like it's a source of pride."

I get up and start towards the bathroom. "And I thought I told you before to call me Yako. You're not the only one with a name now." Shukaku mostly ignores my reprimand as I head to the bathroom. As I bend over to turn on the water, I notice the coon-dog coming up behind me. Before he can lay a hand on me I turn to look at him. "You want something?" I ask.

"Yeah," he says with a smile. "Something arrogant, rude and trapped in the body of a thirteen-year-old."

I glared. "Wrong answer, One-Tail," I mutter, but when I try to turn he grabs me.

"Oh no you don't!" He mumbles to me and begins to purr in my ear. "Why is it, Yako, that you like the marks I leave on you, but you don't seem to like me?"

I shrug off the redhead without too much effort. "You're beneath me, One-Tail," I tell him.

He roars but a shield of chakra keeps him from me. "Why? Why must you be like that all the damn time?" He claws at my shield for a moment with no affect before settling on glaring at me.

I stared the coon-dog before snickering to myself. "Because," I say between laughs. "You make it so damn easy."

He continues to glare and cool, simmering rage settles on the redhead's face. I looked him calmly.

"Oh Shukaku. You know I jest." I drape myself on his slightly smaller form. "You know we tailed beats have never truly gotten along. It's our nature to fight. I will always have the urge to upset you." I tilt my head and kiss the little dark scar on his throat. "However, my appreciation for you knows no bounds." Shifting I meet the dark eyes of the One-Tail. "Shukaku, I wonder: all that time, how did we never realize how very in tune we are?" My words are a purr into his flesh. He smiles despite himself.

"Yes. Well. It is as you said; we Tailed-Beast have never been on the best terms with one another." He snakes am arm around my waist. "Honestly, I never thought it would end up like this. When I talked Gaara to massacring that village, I was doing it for kicks and giggles. I never imagined how well things would go."

I nod and straighten myself while slipping out of the One-Tail's embrace. "I know how you feel." I look at my pale human hand and smile. "I would never have guessed how the boy would accept me. Our symbiosis is impeccable." With a flicker in my eyes I shift my view to the face of the sleeping sand nin. "As is your balance with Gaara."

Shukaku looks at me with mild surprise. "You called him by name?" His surprise is so genuine that I have to laugh.

"Well, of _course_," I insist as I hop onto the counter for the sick. "Why wouldn't I?" I looked at the One-Tail and lean forward. "Aren't you the least bit interested?"

"In what?" Shukaku asks with a frown.

"These two," I whisper. "Naruto. Gaara." I speak their names ever so slowly, letting every syllable drip from my lips. "These mere humans no longer simply contain us. I would venture to say that they _are us_. Our incarnations in human flesh."

Shukaku shakes his head. "You haven't eaten in too long," he says with a tone that firmly dismisses my words.

"Will you not be stupid, you damn Racoon-dog? Listen!" I lean forward. "Why is it we Tailed-Beasts get trapped in filthy human vessels in the first place? So that others can use our power and control us." I sit back and smile. "But that's not what these boys did. No. They are _one_ with us. And they had us form an alliance with one another. Something we would have never done before." I lower my voice. "If any human were worthy of us, it would be them. They have earned it, don't you think?"

Shukaku seems unimpressed. "We've had vessels give themselves over to us before."

"Yes," I said in a flat voice. "And how did that end? With their deaths. We over whelmed their unworthy flesh and they died or were killed, and we were trapped yet again. Don't you grow tired of that? Living in a human skin like a parasite?" I hop off of the counter. "Our partnership with these boys grants us freedom. Not only from that, but from ourselves. Why do you think we powerful Beasts get sealed all the time by worthless humans?"

Shukaku stares at my blankly.

"Why did you get sealed?" I asked in an irritated tone.

"Stupidity," he answers bluntly. "I focused too much on the sweetness of the kill, and not enough on my enemies' plans."

I nod. "And has that happened? No. You see? These humans give us freedom from most of the bloodlust. That clears our heads. And now…" I pause for dramatic effect, "We're _free,_" I state simply, a grin forming on my lips.

Shukaku sighs. I can see he's bored. "So? What's the point of all this?"

Grin disappearing as quickly as it came, I growl and resist the urge to smack him. "Alright, listen you half-witted tanuki! These human boys are our _incarnate._ We live in harmony with them and are alleviated from the bloodlust long enough to make plans. Therefore, there'll be no more of this sealing business! We'll make the humans pay for every time they've sealed us!"

"Until these bodies wear out," Shukaku says, still unimpressed by my genius.

I howl. "Damn it! They are _not going to. _Don't you sense the changes in them? They have become our skins!"

Shukaku is silent for a long time before he shifts.

"We won't get sealed anymore."

"No, we won't," I mutter. There's more silence before he speaks again.

"We could become kings of this world. Tail-Beasts, free from any control but our own will."

With a sigh, my smile starts to return, but more genuinely this time. "Now you're catching on, Shukaku. That's what I'm saying. Besides, you were inside that boy. He is your vessel, and you remember how those worthless humans treated him. How much pain did you watch him suffer through?"

Shukaku doesn't look at me. He looks like he's far away. "I laughed then. Watching any human in pain is funny."

"But not when it's _your_ human, your flesh vessel. The disrespect he suffered at the humans is unforgivable, isn't it? These boys are part of us. They may have been so before they were even born. How dare filthy average humans treat them like they did." I can see the Shukaku thinking. He isn't so serious very often.

"The treatment of our vessels is the treatment of us." He flicks his eyes to meet mine. "Odd. I told Gaara the people of that Leaf village didn't deserve his mate. It seems I was unaware of how right I was."

I know this conversation is over. The decision has been made. Without another word, I start the water, and we wash. I'm pleased that Shukaku took the whole thing so well. I myself believed I must have been losing my mind when it first occurred to me the importance of these two mere humans. However, after many nights of thinking, I realized I was right. No human had even lived with a Tailed-Beat inside him or her the way these boys did. They are different. They are special.

Now the world would tremble before the Beasts once more.

As I dress my new human body, I feel the boy stir inside me. He wakes hungry, lusting for blood and destruction. I jolt of fondness jumps through me. This boy had changed everything. Gaara had fought Shukaku up until the time Naruto had accepted me. He is truly a remarkable boy.

"They're waking," Shukaku mutters.

"Yes. It's time to feed. We'll have little time for rest in the coming months. Wars must be waged and we must find the flesh incarnations of the other Beasts and unite him with their true souls." I grin wickedly.

"Do you honestly think that the other Beasts have incarnations, as we do?" Shukaku sounds skeptical.

"Why not?" I answer. "Why should we be so special?" I pause and turn on my heel in the direction of the door. "Come, Shukaku. There's a lot to be done." My smirk broadens as start through the door.

"The jacket," Shukaku mutters. "The b – Naruto will be upset if you leave his jacket behind."

I turn and eye the dirty ragged orange jacket on the floor. I wrinkle my nose in disgust. "I will get him a new jacket. One more suited to the king he will become."

Shukaku laughs. "Well that's good. Make sure it's not orange."

Quickly I turn to Shukaku. "Why?" I asked harshly. "I like orange." The raccoon-dog stares at me like I'm crazy.

"Since when?" he asks in shock and disbelief.

"Probably the same time you started putting fish cakes in your food." I respond.

"I like naruto!" he shouts.

"Mn. And I'm sure my vessel likes you as well_._" Shukaku seethes for a moment, since he doesn't like word games, before brushing past me.

"Come on," he mutters. "We don't have time for this." I watch him storm a few feet before casting a glance at the tattered orange jacket resting crumpled on the floor in the moonlight. I smile and promise Naruto, who is indeed upset over my leaving his jacket, that I will get him another.

"All in good time, my dear vessel. This is only the beginning."

* * *

There. It's done. That was tiring. Anyway, I liked Kyuubi's name. It means field fox; it's the name for malicious (as opposed to good and kindly) fox spirits. Heh. By the way, the "fish cake" reference was from "The Horror...". Gaara says he likes to put naruto on his food when he first learns Naruto's name. I thought that would be fun to put in. Well since I've barely made a dent in my fanfiction "To Do" List, I'd better be off. Review please.


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